Always never overgeneralize

Overgeneralizing is a common thinking error that happens when you take a current situation and turn it into a never ending pattern of defeat with your words.

         She always favors her over me.

         He never listens.

         Everything is going wrong today.

Careful. Has there ever been a time when she put your needs first? Does her really "never" listen or is he just not listening now? Was there really "nothing" good about today?  If you are careful to stop and try to find the exceptions, or think of when that statement might not be true, you will put the lie to the distortion, and give your mind some relief from the underlying statement your really saying: "Everything is always bad for me."

The antidote is simple. Replace the absolute statements with something else.

         She oftentimes favors her over me.

         Sometimes he doesn't listen.

        A lot of things have gone wrong today.

This puts things in a more manageable perspective, helps you avoid all or nothing thinking errors, and turns a mental prison sentence into more of a minfulness state by observing something that is true for this moment rather than predicting things will be like this forever.

"Human beings are playing a rigged game in which the mind itself has turned on its host."
     Steven Hayes

"A small change in the way we talk can result in much better cooperation...less hate, and more loving relationships." Foster Cline